The Ceremony is Always Real

I often hear that non-traditional ceremonies are fake or false

Nothing could be further from the truth!

Where does this misunderstanding come from?

It arises from the notion that we think of the ceremony as the union of two moments: the celebratory and the legal.

However, in the past, before the concordat between the State and the Church, it was customary to separate the two parts. Our grandmothers probably first got married at the Town Hall and then had their ceremony later, perhaps in a church.

Today, non-traditional ceremonies are increasingly requested, and in almost all locations, there is an area reserved for them. Moreover, symbolic wedding ceremonies can be held anywhere: a reception hall, a garden, a beach, a forest, etc.

Is it possible to officiate a civil marriage anywhere?

No! It is only possible in certain locations authorized by the municipality through a particular bureaucratic process that identifies them as a branch of the Town Hall. In this case, the ceremony is conducted by the Mayor, or by a municipal official delegated by the Mayor, or, after obtaining delegation from the Mayor, a citizen of legal age who meets the requirements to be elected as a city councilor (excluding anyone who has a first-degree relationship with one of the spouses). Clearly, this person can be a professional celebrant.

What to do if the location is not authorized to celebrate Civil Rites?

In these cases, only the sentimental part of the ceremony can be celebrated, with the bureaucratic act reserved for the Town Hall at another time, either before or after. Such a ceremony can be held anywhere without limits: a beach, a forest, a garden, a reception hall, etc.

Does this make the ceremony false?

Obviously NOT! It’s just a matter of separating the two moments.

In a wedding ceremony, whether or not it includes the official signing, I see two people in love who want to share their joy with those they care about. I see two people who have talked to me about themselves, who together with me have chosen music, poems, and words that identify them as a couple wishing to share their lives. What could be more real?

If the love is real, if during every passage of the ceremony emotions and sincere feelings are expressed, the ceremony will be more real than ever.

It’s different, however, when it comes to a reenactment of the civil rite with an actor pretending to be the Mayor or even a Priest (if you search the web, you’ll find this too). But this, you’ll agree with me, is not a ceremony!